The Wait

We've all been there — the unexpected black ice on the road, the soft snow after hard pack which catches the ski tip, the tick bite, the wrong turn, the flight cancellation, the diagnosis. The unexpected and unanticipated which upends our plans.

It's difficult to write this but I need to start. I need to be able to work through what is in my heart, to express, to grieve, to give, to hope, and to celebrate.

Over the holiday, my husband, my love, my "I finally found the joy of true love" was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The darkest of ice, the deepest of snow, the worst type of flight delay. Physically I feel as if I just had open heart surgery and the surgeon forgot to sew me up.

Besides being the most talented and sweetest of geniuses, Jim is otherwise healthy, optimistic, and determined. I keep bringing to the front of my mind that he bicycled across the country by himself despite odds making wonderful friendships along the way. This gives me hope. For now we wait for answers, for structure, for the treatment to begin, for the path to follow on our journey.