On Loving and Losing Nicole

 

Nicole and James at the top of Mount Mansfield

I can still clearly remember my first faculty office at Champlain College in the then new, beautiful library (excuse me, Miller Information Commons) designed and built ahead of its time to not carry the weight of books (they were in the basement and first floor) but instead computer access to the then seemingly new World Wide Web and the new field of "information technology" with complete access to library resources all over the world. Such a gorgeous building and my office had this large black framed round window to the green lawn, like a portal on a ship. All words that would have deeper relevance now than in 1999. Cherry and maple finishings, a large file cabinet, bookshelves, a desktop internet-connected computer (gasp!), and a comfortable chair for students, my faculty, and sometimes the then college president Roger Perry to sit in and chat with me. As they say, different times. 

Not my office but right around the corner in the Miller Information Commons

I was a director of a brand new degree program in Multimedia and Graphic Design or MMG as we called it. Design on a computer! Imagine. Even graphic design firms were having a hard time imagining but our young students didn't have a hard time. Risk takers, curious minds, excited about the future and applying their talents to this, their new future, the program grew exponentially from 15 incoming students in the first year to over 300 students enrolled by year 3. It was a very exciting time and those early students have always remained in my heart. And luckily for me a handful have stayed in my life now 26 years later.

Our annual MMG Awards held together with cables and perseverance

And one was Nicole. We called her Nikki then and she called me Professor DeMarle but she became Nicole and I became her Anna. I remember her in that chair discussing family matters, her courses, her adventures as an early Burton Snowboards "rider". Burton would gift her travel, boards, and gear and along with a few other of my early students, they'd board the world and test and report on the equipment, growing the Burton brand.

She was gifted athletically and artistically. With a smile that lit up the world and blue eyes that looked deeply into the world, Nicole and a small but tight group of fellow MMG buddies would climb up and board down the notorious Tuckerman Ravine. Her artwork was outstanding and she excelled in those classes but some of the other required classes she'd struggle to schedule in. I remember the then Chair Lynne Ballard and myself going to the ends of the earth to help her schedule and graduate on time. Summer classes anyone? And she did graduate on time and returned to her home state of Connecticut.

Most students you never see again. Not Nicole. She returned often to her adopted state of Vermont to hike, board, see friends, and visit me.

And a surprising thing, she grew up. Instead of struggling with meeting requirements, she went onto a Masters in Computer Information Systems and then worked in the demanding, global world of aerospace as a Project Manager first for Sikorsky Aircraft and then for Pratt & Whitney, accumulating acknowledgements and awards as she grew. Nicole had an intense focus and boundless energy.

In Chamonix, L to R: me, Greg's sister Aneta, Nicole, Jim

She continued to visit regularly and when I was out that way, I'd always visit her.  Life continued, she married Greg and I married Jim. On my sabbatical, Nicole and Greg invited us to join them and friends from Poland to ski and board Chamonix. Staying in the same condo, we grew even closer. Years later, they would name their tiny baby James for Jim. And when Jim died, Nicole was right besides me pulling me out insisting we complete a challenging (well for me) hike down Mount Mansfield. I would afterwards say that she was so strong that she got a 65 year old woman and a 5 year old boy up and down that mountain. She carried James half the way. 

James and me, photo by Nicole, on the mountain

Twice a year I'd see her. In the summer or fall, usually her and maybe James, to explore and hike. Always in the winter around Christmas with Greg and James to play in the snowy mountains and celebrate. They were my adopted children, Nicole one of my handful of "other daughters". This past January we celebrated New Years skiing and enjoying the water park at Jay and then Bolton. James always playing with my dogs. Nicole promised to be back in March but she couldn't come. All these years, we held each other up, we'd play, we'd talk deeply, we'd cook together, we had each other's back. I loved her like a daughter and best friend and I knew that love circled back around to me from her. Much like that circular window in my first office where we first recognized what we shared.

When I was grieving Jim after he died, I read every single book I could on grief and losing a spouse but there was one book I started that I couldn't read. In the first chapter I came to realize that not only does the husband die but so does the daughter. I've never been able to read "The Year of Magical Thinking" a grief classic by Joan Didion. And I never will. Too much to hold.

Nicole died tragically and unexpectedly three days after Tegan's wedding. My emotions since have been like a pendulum bouncing back and forth in an earthquake. The complete joy over Tegan and Lucas and then the deep devastation about Nicole and her lovely family—and poor little James, just turning 8 a few short days after his Mom died. James was her reason for being. She arranged her whole life to give him everything a child needs to grow and thrive. I'm having a really hard time accepting what he'll face and also that I'll never see her again, her lovely energy now only as ashes at her service this weekend. She has always returned...

In Jay this past January

I know this  territory all too well, the sleepless nights, the weird grief dreams, the tears that suddenly erupt in memory. But I also know enough to know how to be there for Greg and James. Grief is exhausting but I know that if anyone can be there at their darkest time, it’s me. I’ve done it with Jim, my parents, other family and friends. We show up. We listen. We do not judge. We join them when they are fighting for their lives. Stand right beside them. That's how love loves more. It's a requirement of life.

Last night  my meditation that finally allowed sleep was on the Ram Dass quote "Our journey is about being more deeply involved in life yet less attached to it". One thing I have learned due to Jim’s death is to learn to ride the waves, to know all things change, that we will survive until it's our time to take leave too. Perhaps another reason why I love swimming. Learning when to breathe and when to lean in. Lean in, go as deep as I can but also let the water carry me.

Written by Nicole in my guest book in January

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To share, I was honored that Greg asked me to write her obituary. I hope years from now, James will be able to look back and remember how deeply Nicole loved him. Send them your love.

Nicole (Osakowicz) Andrzejczyk

Nicole (Osakowicz) Andrzejczyk, 44 of Guilford passed away unexpectedly on June 5, 2025. She was born December 25, 1980 in Bridgeport to Henry and Maria (Wasilewska) Osakowicz. Nicole is survived by her loving and devoted husband, Greg Andrzejczyk, their adored son, James Andrzejczyk, and her mother Maria Wasilewska. She is also survived by her brother, Peter Osakowicz and a nephew, Calvin Osakowicz. She is predeceased by her father, Henry K. Osakowicz. 

Nicole was an amazing person: bursting with life, energy, creativity, and love for family, friends, and community. She was a rare soul, a spirit both adventurous and generous.

As a hard working leader with a career in IT and Project Management, she received in 2024 a leadership award from her employer Pratt & Whitney recognizing her exceptional leadership and execution. As an IT Project Manager from 2015-2025, Nicole was responsible for implementing solutions across multiple aerospace structure sites leading 1-3 multimillion-dollar initiatives annually. Previously, at Sikorsky Aircraft, while an Operations & Aftermarket Spares Manager, she co-founded their Material Logistics University.

Always curious, constantly learning and on the leading edge of technology, she graduated in August 2009 with a Masters in Computer Information Systems from Quinnipiac University. In 2004, she received one of the first Baccalaureates in the then new field of Multimedia and Graphic Design from Champlain College.

Nicole was much more than her work though. Her life was full of adventure, exploration, and pushing out the edges of what is possible. A quote by Camilla Eyring Kimball that she loved fits her well, “You do not find the happy life, you make it”. Nicole was intent on this, she had a love of beauty which she brought into her family’s home through her gardens, joyous holiday celebrations, and as a talented painter.

She was always on the move. One of Burton Snowboards early “riders”, she loved mountains from snowboarding to hiking to camping peaks across the world—from Europe’s Chamonix to Jay Peak in Vermont, even conquering multiple times the Northeast’s most notorious hike up and ski descent: Tuckerman Ravine. Always accompanied by Greg, family and friends, Nicole was overjoyed when then 6 year old James began to get the hang of snowboarding this past winter.

Anyone who knew her recognized that James was her great love the moment he was born. She took mothering to heart, taking care with her husband Greg to fill his life with every opportunity for adventure, learning, exploration, and deep joy. The mountains, yes, but also venues from Legoland to Disney to historical Jamestown, Virginia. She encouraged his growth helping him find activities that fit him—crafting, fencing and Brazilian jiu-jitsu. As she wrote proudly “My kid finally found his groove! Yes, the parenting goal for 2024 accomplished!” And of course there was no shortage of fresh baked cookies, legos, and snuggles.

Her love of children and families extended beyond her immediate family and friends in an extraordinary way. At the start of the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, mothers and children fled the conflict and crossed into Poland, Nicole was heartbroken as a devoted mother. With deep connections to Poland, Nicole organized the “Spring Charity Drive, Care Packages to Poland”. The aim was to supply the refugee children with 3000 clothes, 450 school supplies, 45 backpacks, and 250 toys. For their families 380 women's and 130 mens clothes, 84 sleeping bags/bedding and blankets, 160 plus toiletries, 135 medical items, 100 nalgene bottles/ thermos, cups and utensils, and 11 bulk shipments of food for a hostel and humanitarian warehouse. She surpassed these audacious goals and with support from Lockheed Martin and Polish Airways the supplies were delivered to the city of Mielca, Poland. That year Nicole and her co-organizers were recognized for their work by the President of the city of Mielca, Jacek Winiewski, and the Chairman of the Board of Polish Airways, Janusz Zakrcki. 

Truly we are heartbroken ourselves as the world has lost one of its great hearts.

Family will receive friends from 2 to 5 PM on Sunday June 15, 2025 in the Clancy-Palumbo Funeral Home (Clancy Funeral Home), 43 Kirkham Ave., East Haven. All are invited to meet and attend a Mass of Christian Burial on Monday June 16 at 10 AM in St. George Catholic Church, 33 Whitfield Street, Guilford CT(please go directly to the Church on Monday) with burial to follow at Alder Brook Cemetery in Guilford.